My aunt. I shudder at the very thought of her.. she's horrible.
Picture this - a short, wide middle-aged woman who lives in regional Victoria. In an effort to be 'trendy', she has orangey straightened hair cut in layers around her shoulders, clashing nastily with her rosacea-ravaged skin. She never wears any makeup and dresses in anything neutral coloured, box-shaped or masculine. Her voice is enough to strip the paint or flesh from anything and send me into spasms... but the worst part is what comes out of her mouth.
Never before have I met anybody so pig-headed, small-minded, selfish, stupid, unreasonably arrogant, racist, rude and idiotic as her. She's quite simply a waste of space.
Today at my cousin's birthday party, we were sitting on the patio talking about Al Gore. My Dad was telling the others about his views and what he had seen in An Inconvenient Truth about global warming. My Dad actually works in sustainable energy and has the EPA's phone number on speed dial, so it's all very relevant for him. He was talking about how dire things would be if the ice cap on top of Greenland did slip, how it would trigger major tsunamis that would affect countries next to the Atlantic, how the sea would rise 20ft resulting in many major city centres being underwater.
All my Aunt asked was, "What about R___ [the regional town she lives in]? Will it be underwater?".
My Dad said, "Probably not, it's a fair way above sea level."
She started laughing and said, "Good, because that's all I care about. Ha, imagine that.. I'd have a beach front property! Wonder how much that'd sell for.. two acres right on the beach!" She then started laughing.
I looked at her like she'd just shot baby Jesus in the head, and my other Aunts clued in and told her to shut up. What a cow and a half.. I couldn't believe that anybody could be so callous and stupid.
More happened though.. I have a new cousin, who I did not know about. She is apparently a couple of weeks old, and absolutely tiny. Everybody was commenting on how much weight she'd put on, and I felt sick. She was miniscule and very frail looking - her mother smoked and drank copiously all through the pregnancy. It's disgusting. She shouldn't have been allowed to have a child. At the gathering, she just foisted her baby off onto everybody else and sat around outside smoking and drinking again. Unbelievable.
It's petty, I know, but I am annoyed that she and I share the same middle name - Rose (yes, Rose is my middle name in real life). My grandmother's middle name is Rose, her daughter is called Rosemarie, and I (her granddaughter) has Rose as my middle name. When my parents had me, they asked my grandmother if they could use the name as a way of honouring her. Since me, two more of her granddaughters have had Rose as their middle name.. without asking, and it's ticking me off.
Grrr! Bad vibes everywhere!
Sunday, October 29
Tuesday, October 24
Here We Go Again
After such an abysmal time doing Anything Goes, I'm gearing up for another round of self-destruction. I'm auditioning for Beauty and the Beast.
The hope behind this decision is that it will wash away the bad taste brought about by my last show; I'll be doing something I believe in, I'll be appreciated, I'll be surrounded by hard-working and professional people for once and hopefully I'll be in a role that I can really flex my performing muscles. I'm gunning for Belle, but hundreds of girls will be, no doubt. None of the other female roles really suit me.. the Silly Girls call for busty and flamboyant girls. I am certainly busty and sometimes flamboyant, but Lucien noted that it's in a way that somehow doesn't compare to certain other individuals in town - they look like sex objects you'd see in a magazine, I apparently just look 'nice' and elegant. The role of Babette would be fun, except my dancing would probably not be up to scratch after being out of it for so long. Too young to play Madame des Grande Bouche or Mrs. Potts... I suppose I could play the Enchantress, but she's usually just a member of the ensemble and doesn't speak, doesn't sing, doesn't dance. Head a-splode!
So, the plan is to tailor my audition song and monologue towards Belle. Of the characters in the show, she suits me to a tee, but she also will be the most difficult to get. But we'll see.
Tomorrow is the last day of school. I'm freaking out - I have an assignment due in eight days and I haven't seen the film that I have to write on yet. Very worrying. A couple of days later, I have another essay due.. then I have to do a philosophy exam. Eek.
I had my first day with Myer today... actually, it was still training, but it was so strange and nice! I rocked up in a suit, shock horror, despite the fact that everybody else was dressed quite casually. One girl even turned up with jeans and converse on, for her first day at a job where the preferred dress is very clearly stated. She didn't even try, but she ended up being quite annoying and argumentative so I disregarded any sympathy I had previously felt for her. We sat in the 'Learning Institute' from 9am to 5:30pm, but it felt so much longer. I suddenly remembered everything that high school felt like.. the minutes that felt like hours and the times when you seriously wondered whether or not the clock was going backwards. A couple of times I actually caught myself blinking so heavily that I would almost fall asleep.
It wasn't all doom and gloom though - after the actual training day, I went to visit my department and introduce myself to my manager. She wasn't there, but I met a nice boy who is working in the same place as me and only started yesterday. Everybody in there seemed to have a less strict, more jolly idea of uniform. Instead of everybody wearing suits, the girls I saw were wearing variations on this theme - black pinafore dresses with white tops, curls in their hair and glitter on their faces. I later discovered from the nice boy that everybody gets covered in the glitter just from being on that particular floor. It was great fun and it felt so magical just being there. It will be so lovely, being surrounded by magic and Santa and trees and snow and glitter and fun and joy for a couple of months.
Ah! Excitement!
I am still bemoaning the loss of Olympia Manet. Where is she? I hope all is well, but I am suspecting the worst. My mind is flying to the worst case scenarios - maybe a crime of passion was committed after a client read Postmodern Courtesan. Maybe she is sick. Maybe, maybe, maybe. I am hoping that it is something fairly .. well, innocuous - like she had a change of career, or she fell in love and decided to shed her former life, or she just had a close call with someone discovering her identity and decided to discontinue her intrigues. I just hope she's ok, and if she reads this for some odd reason, good luck Olympia.
I almost got 'done' by tram inspectors today. I bought a daily concession card to travel into the city for work and out again when I was done. On my way back home, I was asked to show my ticket - which I did. They asked to see my concession card, and I thought, "Sure thing". Reached into my coin purse.. where is it? I hunted around in my bag, getting frantic, couldn't find it. I had it this morning and it doesn't seem to have fallen into my bag and tucked itself into a book or anything. I have absolutely no idea what I have done with it. Luckily for me, the ticket inspector was a young woman who saw how flustered I was getting and said, "Look, don't worry about it. I could fine you, but they're already busy at the other end [of the tram] so they're not going to notice. I'm just going to walk away." I whispered thank you, and couldn't believe my luck.. first at being so unlucky to lose my concession card, then to be so lucky to have such an understanding ticket inspector.
Now.. the tricky part comes in trying to get a new concession card. This would be easy if it were one of the tertiary travel ones, but no - my particular concession card was also my health care card, and I certainly can't pay full price for all my prescriptions. So, I'm in dire straights. Must find replacement!
The hope behind this decision is that it will wash away the bad taste brought about by my last show; I'll be doing something I believe in, I'll be appreciated, I'll be surrounded by hard-working and professional people for once and hopefully I'll be in a role that I can really flex my performing muscles. I'm gunning for Belle, but hundreds of girls will be, no doubt. None of the other female roles really suit me.. the Silly Girls call for busty and flamboyant girls. I am certainly busty and sometimes flamboyant, but Lucien noted that it's in a way that somehow doesn't compare to certain other individuals in town - they look like sex objects you'd see in a magazine, I apparently just look 'nice' and elegant. The role of Babette would be fun, except my dancing would probably not be up to scratch after being out of it for so long. Too young to play Madame des Grande Bouche or Mrs. Potts... I suppose I could play the Enchantress, but she's usually just a member of the ensemble and doesn't speak, doesn't sing, doesn't dance. Head a-splode!
So, the plan is to tailor my audition song and monologue towards Belle. Of the characters in the show, she suits me to a tee, but she also will be the most difficult to get. But we'll see.
Tomorrow is the last day of school. I'm freaking out - I have an assignment due in eight days and I haven't seen the film that I have to write on yet. Very worrying. A couple of days later, I have another essay due.. then I have to do a philosophy exam. Eek.
I had my first day with Myer today... actually, it was still training, but it was so strange and nice! I rocked up in a suit, shock horror, despite the fact that everybody else was dressed quite casually. One girl even turned up with jeans and converse on, for her first day at a job where the preferred dress is very clearly stated. She didn't even try, but she ended up being quite annoying and argumentative so I disregarded any sympathy I had previously felt for her. We sat in the 'Learning Institute' from 9am to 5:30pm, but it felt so much longer. I suddenly remembered everything that high school felt like.. the minutes that felt like hours and the times when you seriously wondered whether or not the clock was going backwards. A couple of times I actually caught myself blinking so heavily that I would almost fall asleep.
It wasn't all doom and gloom though - after the actual training day, I went to visit my department and introduce myself to my manager. She wasn't there, but I met a nice boy who is working in the same place as me and only started yesterday. Everybody in there seemed to have a less strict, more jolly idea of uniform. Instead of everybody wearing suits, the girls I saw were wearing variations on this theme - black pinafore dresses with white tops, curls in their hair and glitter on their faces. I later discovered from the nice boy that everybody gets covered in the glitter just from being on that particular floor. It was great fun and it felt so magical just being there. It will be so lovely, being surrounded by magic and Santa and trees and snow and glitter and fun and joy for a couple of months.
Ah! Excitement!
I am still bemoaning the loss of Olympia Manet. Where is she? I hope all is well, but I am suspecting the worst. My mind is flying to the worst case scenarios - maybe a crime of passion was committed after a client read Postmodern Courtesan. Maybe she is sick. Maybe, maybe, maybe. I am hoping that it is something fairly .. well, innocuous - like she had a change of career, or she fell in love and decided to shed her former life, or she just had a close call with someone discovering her identity and decided to discontinue her intrigues. I just hope she's ok, and if she reads this for some odd reason, good luck Olympia.
I almost got 'done' by tram inspectors today. I bought a daily concession card to travel into the city for work and out again when I was done. On my way back home, I was asked to show my ticket - which I did. They asked to see my concession card, and I thought, "Sure thing". Reached into my coin purse.. where is it? I hunted around in my bag, getting frantic, couldn't find it. I had it this morning and it doesn't seem to have fallen into my bag and tucked itself into a book or anything. I have absolutely no idea what I have done with it. Luckily for me, the ticket inspector was a young woman who saw how flustered I was getting and said, "Look, don't worry about it. I could fine you, but they're already busy at the other end [of the tram] so they're not going to notice. I'm just going to walk away." I whispered thank you, and couldn't believe my luck.. first at being so unlucky to lose my concession card, then to be so lucky to have such an understanding ticket inspector.
Now.. the tricky part comes in trying to get a new concession card. This would be easy if it were one of the tertiary travel ones, but no - my particular concession card was also my health care card, and I certainly can't pay full price for all my prescriptions. So, I'm in dire straights. Must find replacement!
Tuesday, October 17
Spending a Summer Wasting
I have a couple of days in between shows, and I literally feel like I'm wasting away. I'm not sure whether it's coming down from such an adrenaline kick during last weekends' run, or whether I'm coming down with something, but I am feeling incredibly lethargic. And sinus-y, sore throat-y and muscle ache-y. Woe...
Oh well! I'm tremendously excited about going on the bike again on Thursday. I found my old Doc Martens and made sure they still fitted me, and on Thursday morning I'm going op-shopping for a pair of jeans (I only have stiff, tight 'girly' jeans, that I fear would be incredibly uncomfortable). Though it is not without an ounce of guilt. My Dad told me today that he didn't want me to die, and therefore didn't want me going on a motorbike again, no matter how experienced the rider was. I don't want to go against him, and I know it is probably dangerous, but it's so fun!
Mmm.. let's not talk about that again. This morning I had to rush into the city at an ungodly hour to get some tickets to see Al Gore. I'm not sure exactly what he is speaking on, but my Dad said, "Get tickets, ask questions later". The tickets were free, but limited to 4 per person, so he enlisted me to get some for my shrink who is overseas.
To congratulate me on my sterling effort of getting up before noon, my Dad took me out to breakfast at Bistro d'Orsay, across the road from the Regent Theatre. Being brave, I decided to do something I haven't done in probably more than 15 years. I ate egg. Yes, it was that shocking for me too.. but it was actually quite nice. Mind you, I took the easy choice by opting for scrambled eggs on ciabatta with bacon, rather than something as threatening as a poached egg staring up at me. But it was nice! I think I'll have to figure out how to make it myself, as good as they did.
Anyway, it's ridiculously hot in my bedroom, so I think it's time to put some clothes on and run around. Ciao!
Oh well! I'm tremendously excited about going on the bike again on Thursday. I found my old Doc Martens and made sure they still fitted me, and on Thursday morning I'm going op-shopping for a pair of jeans (I only have stiff, tight 'girly' jeans, that I fear would be incredibly uncomfortable). Though it is not without an ounce of guilt. My Dad told me today that he didn't want me to die, and therefore didn't want me going on a motorbike again, no matter how experienced the rider was. I don't want to go against him, and I know it is probably dangerous, but it's so fun!
Mmm.. let's not talk about that again. This morning I had to rush into the city at an ungodly hour to get some tickets to see Al Gore. I'm not sure exactly what he is speaking on, but my Dad said, "Get tickets, ask questions later". The tickets were free, but limited to 4 per person, so he enlisted me to get some for my shrink who is overseas.
To congratulate me on my sterling effort of getting up before noon, my Dad took me out to breakfast at Bistro d'Orsay, across the road from the Regent Theatre. Being brave, I decided to do something I haven't done in probably more than 15 years. I ate egg. Yes, it was that shocking for me too.. but it was actually quite nice. Mind you, I took the easy choice by opting for scrambled eggs on ciabatta with bacon, rather than something as threatening as a poached egg staring up at me. But it was nice! I think I'll have to figure out how to make it myself, as good as they did.
Anyway, it's ridiculously hot in my bedroom, so I think it's time to put some clothes on and run around. Ciao!
Monday, October 16
Frenzy x 10
What a long time between posts, and what a lot has transpired. It would be far to much for me to detail every single little thing, so I'll give you a context and then give little snippets of the events surrounding the last couple of weeks. Here we go!
Last week was production week, leading up to opening night on Friday. From Tuesday onwards, we worked our butts off every single night from 6pm till 11pm, before getting kicked out of the theatre and having to continue notes and revisions at the local all-nighter pizza place. I would take off my makeup at night and wake up with the horrid oil-based orangey foundation still clinging to my face in the morning, no matter how hard I thought I had scrubbed. It was hellish... especially the absolute bitchiness that was going on backstage constantly. Let the snippets of heaven and hell begin.
The first big issue began when I had a little 'constructive criticism' concerning a costume. Originally I was given a ghastly blue dress full of shoulder pads, then an ugly purple dress I simply could not breathe in, and then.. worst of all, a wine-coloured polyester sack. Literally, this was a drop waisted dress with long sleeves and a high neck, possibly the least flattering thing ever for somebody with a pronounced hourglass shape. The fabric hits the slightest curve on my body and falls straight down.. now it's worse - due to an issue with static electricity, we sprayed it, leaving huge stains. Just peachy.
I brought in a dress that had belonged to my mother; she bought it from an op shop when she was 13, and it is clearly a 1930's dress. It's beautiful - black matte organza with a subtle cream pattern of wisteria, slightly off the shoulder, high waisted, completely sheer (needs a black slip underneath). On all accounts, it was perfect. All accounts except for the costumes ladies who denounced it as 'not the right era'. Hello? It was actually made in the right era, then they handed me that polyester abomination with a dropped waist? That was a hallmark of the 20's.. grrrr.
Eventually I was told to ask the director what he thought of the polyester dress. He basically unloaded on me, saying that I was being ridiculous, precious, I needed to be a team player and get over it. Concluding words: "If you don't wear what you're given, you're out of the show. Simple as that." Bastard..
The worst part is that many people were having issues with their costumes. My friend Carmel, who taps in the show, was asking him if she could wear an alternate costume - her reason was admittedly much better than mine. She has a rather energetic dance in one scene, then has to run off and get changed for the beginning of the very next scene into a heavy full length coat with about 30 buttons down the front. As soon as this short scene is over, she has to run around for the next scene and get into another costume, in which she has the tap for several minutes. After a couple of rehearsals, she realised it wasn't working - she couldn't breathe and almost passed out on stage. And the directors' answer to this issue? "Well, you'll just have to deal with it." He has been a complete prick to everybody who has had the decency to ask him about anything - lots of people have changed their costumes without telling anybody and nobody is any wiser. It sucks to be punished for common decency.
Another bad thing that happened was the beginning of what will be an ongoing battle between Regina and I. I think I mentioned her in another post - she considers herself Queen of theatre in our town. In actuality, she is not a particularly good actor, singer or dancer, but people clamour for her attention and approval nonetheless. She only casts her friends and criticises anybody who isn't a friend. Unfortunately, I have managed to capture her ire.
When running through notes after a rehearsal, the director mentioned something about an ensemble reaction (a strategically placed "Awww!"). Clearly, he was wrong.. he was simply missing a part of the script and making a logical jump which didn't make any sense. And I had the gall to challenge him. In the nicest possible way of course. "But Billy is still in disguise at this point and he has just broken up the marriage. Why should this be a good thing? We are still thinking that he's some random Chinese convict bride-stealer?" The director stood there, his mouth gaping open like a stunned mullet. He was wrong, he knew it, he didn't want to admit it. So Regina, who isn't the director, she isn't even in the show, jumped up and started shouting, "Look, this is pathetic. You need to learn to take direction, this is the biggest problem in the show... none of you know how to take direction. This is one of the worst casts ever because you're all so arrogant to assume you can do a better job than him, and you can't." Instead of running out of the room, or crying, or yelling at her and telling her that I hoped she died from syphillis, I simply stood calmly.
The worst part came afterwards. I was waiting to go onstage when she came strolling up behind me - "That wasn't just for you, it was for everybody. But don't ever talk back to your director."
"It was an innocent question and I was right. Everybody knows that I am write, and he hasn't got the guts to admit it."
Regina shrugged, rolled her eyes and stalked off, not before I delivered this line in my most cutting, spiteful voice: "You're not the director, Regina. Get over yourself".
Ooooooh.
It has all been a bit stressful. It's hard to fake such exuberance and absolute frenetic joy onstage when all you want to do is kill people and cry as soon as you get off. But Lucien has been lovely.. he supported me the whole way through and has stood up for me quite a bit. He has dealt with me sobbing hysterically in the pizza restaurant carpack at 1am, struggling like a frantic bird as he tries to calm me down. He has dealt with all the hate flying around backstage and tried as much as he could to shield me from it. It has been lovely, and I haven't always been in the right state to appreciate it, but it has meant a lot to me.
Another thing that has been nice is re-establishing old friendships. Benjamin is becoming a best friend again.. he came over to do some weight training, then we went for dinner at Stalactites last night. Only place open at midnight on a Sunday! I have also made new friends, one in the form of the black-wearing, motorcycle-riding dark shadowy ninja, Seraph. I suppose I should call him by his online handle rather than creating a new psuedonym for him, so Seraph it is. Apparently we met at a particularly geeky gaming cafe two years ago - he remembers it with such clarity, it scared me a little. Lucien took me to the cafe late at night after a rehearsal, and I was wearing a full pink skirt and a pink cardigan. Perfect for hanging with the guys.. *laughs*. Seraph remembered it, and I can vaguely recollect him helping me to play a game while Lucien was neglecting me. Strange.. I was so much younger then, in so many ways, now we've met again.
He took me out during one of the after-show parties for a ride on his motorcycle, which was one of the most exhilarating experiences of my life. I loved it.. I love the wind whipping around me, the feeling of moving so fast (180kph, don't tell!), and clinging on for dear life, feeling like I was simply going to hit the road at any given corner. It felt like being on a rollercoaster, and I adored it. He is picking me up on Thursday in Melbourne to take me back to our town for the next run of shows.. meaning riding on the highway for more than an hour. I'm so excited.. I want it to be Thursday now!
Unfortunately, making new friends is not without its disadvantages. Theatre people are notorious for the gossip and rumours that can spring from nowhere. Despite making a big show of the fact that I was in fact going on a motorbike for the ride rather than the company (though that was fun too), rumour has started that Seraph and I left the party for a 45 minute long romp in the bushes somewhere. One of my less-liked castmates actually asked me at the next party (it is a long string of parties punctuated by actual shows) if I had fun "bonking on a bike". In front of everybody. Luckily, the absolute spite spreading around the cast has given a good education in preparing razor-sharp retorts, so I gave some cuttingly clever comeback and that was that. I just despise the idea that people think I am as.. well, loose-moralled as a lot of them are. It's funny that there is a very high proportion of Christians in the theatrical circles, considering some of their drunken, vulgar, promiscuous behaviour. And here I am, the atheist who barely drinks and only sleeps with my long-term boyfriend. Go figure.
There are a few more shows to go - one each on Thursday night, Friday night and Saturday afternoon. Then packing up everything in the theatre and more partying. I'm making a concerted effort to be sociable.. I'm usually reknowned in these circles for not turning up to all the parties and post-show 'piss-ups'. I have made an effort this time, but I am yet to see whether it's worth it.
One more week of hyperactivity and then I'm all yours.
Last week was production week, leading up to opening night on Friday. From Tuesday onwards, we worked our butts off every single night from 6pm till 11pm, before getting kicked out of the theatre and having to continue notes and revisions at the local all-nighter pizza place. I would take off my makeup at night and wake up with the horrid oil-based orangey foundation still clinging to my face in the morning, no matter how hard I thought I had scrubbed. It was hellish... especially the absolute bitchiness that was going on backstage constantly. Let the snippets of heaven and hell begin.
The first big issue began when I had a little 'constructive criticism' concerning a costume. Originally I was given a ghastly blue dress full of shoulder pads, then an ugly purple dress I simply could not breathe in, and then.. worst of all, a wine-coloured polyester sack. Literally, this was a drop waisted dress with long sleeves and a high neck, possibly the least flattering thing ever for somebody with a pronounced hourglass shape. The fabric hits the slightest curve on my body and falls straight down.. now it's worse - due to an issue with static electricity, we sprayed it, leaving huge stains. Just peachy.
I brought in a dress that had belonged to my mother; she bought it from an op shop when she was 13, and it is clearly a 1930's dress. It's beautiful - black matte organza with a subtle cream pattern of wisteria, slightly off the shoulder, high waisted, completely sheer (needs a black slip underneath). On all accounts, it was perfect. All accounts except for the costumes ladies who denounced it as 'not the right era'. Hello? It was actually made in the right era, then they handed me that polyester abomination with a dropped waist? That was a hallmark of the 20's.. grrrr.
Eventually I was told to ask the director what he thought of the polyester dress. He basically unloaded on me, saying that I was being ridiculous, precious, I needed to be a team player and get over it. Concluding words: "If you don't wear what you're given, you're out of the show. Simple as that." Bastard..
The worst part is that many people were having issues with their costumes. My friend Carmel, who taps in the show, was asking him if she could wear an alternate costume - her reason was admittedly much better than mine. She has a rather energetic dance in one scene, then has to run off and get changed for the beginning of the very next scene into a heavy full length coat with about 30 buttons down the front. As soon as this short scene is over, she has to run around for the next scene and get into another costume, in which she has the tap for several minutes. After a couple of rehearsals, she realised it wasn't working - she couldn't breathe and almost passed out on stage. And the directors' answer to this issue? "Well, you'll just have to deal with it." He has been a complete prick to everybody who has had the decency to ask him about anything - lots of people have changed their costumes without telling anybody and nobody is any wiser. It sucks to be punished for common decency.
Another bad thing that happened was the beginning of what will be an ongoing battle between Regina and I. I think I mentioned her in another post - she considers herself Queen of theatre in our town. In actuality, she is not a particularly good actor, singer or dancer, but people clamour for her attention and approval nonetheless. She only casts her friends and criticises anybody who isn't a friend. Unfortunately, I have managed to capture her ire.
When running through notes after a rehearsal, the director mentioned something about an ensemble reaction (a strategically placed "Awww!"). Clearly, he was wrong.. he was simply missing a part of the script and making a logical jump which didn't make any sense. And I had the gall to challenge him. In the nicest possible way of course. "But Billy is still in disguise at this point and he has just broken up the marriage. Why should this be a good thing? We are still thinking that he's some random Chinese convict bride-stealer?" The director stood there, his mouth gaping open like a stunned mullet. He was wrong, he knew it, he didn't want to admit it. So Regina, who isn't the director, she isn't even in the show, jumped up and started shouting, "Look, this is pathetic. You need to learn to take direction, this is the biggest problem in the show... none of you know how to take direction. This is one of the worst casts ever because you're all so arrogant to assume you can do a better job than him, and you can't." Instead of running out of the room, or crying, or yelling at her and telling her that I hoped she died from syphillis, I simply stood calmly.
The worst part came afterwards. I was waiting to go onstage when she came strolling up behind me - "That wasn't just for you, it was for everybody. But don't ever talk back to your director."
"It was an innocent question and I was right. Everybody knows that I am write, and he hasn't got the guts to admit it."
Regina shrugged, rolled her eyes and stalked off, not before I delivered this line in my most cutting, spiteful voice: "You're not the director, Regina. Get over yourself".
Ooooooh.
It has all been a bit stressful. It's hard to fake such exuberance and absolute frenetic joy onstage when all you want to do is kill people and cry as soon as you get off. But Lucien has been lovely.. he supported me the whole way through and has stood up for me quite a bit. He has dealt with me sobbing hysterically in the pizza restaurant carpack at 1am, struggling like a frantic bird as he tries to calm me down. He has dealt with all the hate flying around backstage and tried as much as he could to shield me from it. It has been lovely, and I haven't always been in the right state to appreciate it, but it has meant a lot to me.
Another thing that has been nice is re-establishing old friendships. Benjamin is becoming a best friend again.. he came over to do some weight training, then we went for dinner at Stalactites last night. Only place open at midnight on a Sunday! I have also made new friends, one in the form of the black-wearing, motorcycle-riding dark shadowy ninja, Seraph. I suppose I should call him by his online handle rather than creating a new psuedonym for him, so Seraph it is. Apparently we met at a particularly geeky gaming cafe two years ago - he remembers it with such clarity, it scared me a little. Lucien took me to the cafe late at night after a rehearsal, and I was wearing a full pink skirt and a pink cardigan. Perfect for hanging with the guys.. *laughs*. Seraph remembered it, and I can vaguely recollect him helping me to play a game while Lucien was neglecting me. Strange.. I was so much younger then, in so many ways, now we've met again.
He took me out during one of the after-show parties for a ride on his motorcycle, which was one of the most exhilarating experiences of my life. I loved it.. I love the wind whipping around me, the feeling of moving so fast (180kph, don't tell!), and clinging on for dear life, feeling like I was simply going to hit the road at any given corner. It felt like being on a rollercoaster, and I adored it. He is picking me up on Thursday in Melbourne to take me back to our town for the next run of shows.. meaning riding on the highway for more than an hour. I'm so excited.. I want it to be Thursday now!
Unfortunately, making new friends is not without its disadvantages. Theatre people are notorious for the gossip and rumours that can spring from nowhere. Despite making a big show of the fact that I was in fact going on a motorbike for the ride rather than the company (though that was fun too), rumour has started that Seraph and I left the party for a 45 minute long romp in the bushes somewhere. One of my less-liked castmates actually asked me at the next party (it is a long string of parties punctuated by actual shows) if I had fun "bonking on a bike". In front of everybody. Luckily, the absolute spite spreading around the cast has given a good education in preparing razor-sharp retorts, so I gave some cuttingly clever comeback and that was that. I just despise the idea that people think I am as.. well, loose-moralled as a lot of them are. It's funny that there is a very high proportion of Christians in the theatrical circles, considering some of their drunken, vulgar, promiscuous behaviour. And here I am, the atheist who barely drinks and only sleeps with my long-term boyfriend. Go figure.
There are a few more shows to go - one each on Thursday night, Friday night and Saturday afternoon. Then packing up everything in the theatre and more partying. I'm making a concerted effort to be sociable.. I'm usually reknowned in these circles for not turning up to all the parties and post-show 'piss-ups'. I have made an effort this time, but I am yet to see whether it's worth it.
One more week of hyperactivity and then I'm all yours.
Saturday, October 7
Tower of Pisa
Leaning dangerously to one side, increasing the likelihood of a tumble each second. Lurching ominously, because the foundations are shifting and sinking beneath her. One day she will fall, and everybody will suddenly jump up and say, "Damn. I should have seen it coming."
Being cryptic.
Anything Goes opens next week, Friday 13th (ha). Call 5225 1200 for tickets if you want to come. Feel like spending $30 to watch good (debatable) theatre? If that phone number looks nonsensical to you, then you are probably too far away from the theatre to actually come, so don't worry about it! As for me, I'm barely in the show, so it's probably not a very good exercise in stalking.
Enough. iLectures to listen to and essays to write.
Being cryptic.
Anything Goes opens next week, Friday 13th (ha). Call 5225 1200 for tickets if you want to come. Feel like spending $30 to watch good (debatable) theatre? If that phone number looks nonsensical to you, then you are probably too far away from the theatre to actually come, so don't worry about it! As for me, I'm barely in the show, so it's probably not a very good exercise in stalking.
Enough. iLectures to listen to and essays to write.
Wednesday, October 4
Rocket Man
Listening to a lot of Kate Bush right now. My new 'Pod has become my best friend, especially in view of the events of late. I'm sick, overworked, freaking out about the pressures of uni and less than a week out of theatre. Things are coming together in a mighty crescendo, and it's worrying.
But today is such a nice day, I'll pretend nothing is wrong.
Today is 30°, yet tomorrow is supposed not to get past 18°. We have a total fire ban today in most parts of Victoria, yet tomorrow I'll probably be freezing various extremities off. What is going on?
I'm also wondering/worrying where the lovely Miss Olympia Manet has gone too.. her website Postmodern Courtesan has been offline for a couple of weeks now. I was hoping she'd reappear, but alas, no such luck. As usual, my mind is flying to worst case scenarios. I just hope nothing so bad has happened to her. Olympia's journal really was a pleasure to read and was one of my favourites.
No more today. We'll see how inspired I feel tomorrow.
But today is such a nice day, I'll pretend nothing is wrong.
Today is 30°, yet tomorrow is supposed not to get past 18°. We have a total fire ban today in most parts of Victoria, yet tomorrow I'll probably be freezing various extremities off. What is going on?
I'm also wondering/worrying where the lovely Miss Olympia Manet has gone too.. her website Postmodern Courtesan has been offline for a couple of weeks now. I was hoping she'd reappear, but alas, no such luck. As usual, my mind is flying to worst case scenarios. I just hope nothing so bad has happened to her. Olympia's journal really was a pleasure to read and was one of my favourites.
No more today. We'll see how inspired I feel tomorrow.
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