One Day Until Spring

I started cleaning my bedroom today. It seems insignificant, but it is actually a huge undertaking. You can't see the carpet, you have to wade through knee-deep junk to actually even get to my bed, where you would be sleeping amongst school books, clothes and even my cd player lives on my bed sometimes.
So today I put every item of clothing on the floor, clean or dirty, into black garbage bags - I ended up with 5 of them. I always complain about having nothing to wear, despite having this many clothes... I think it's time for a purge. Op-shops, watch out! You're about to be innundated, my wardrobe is arriving on your doorsteps shortly!

There is a feeling of 'gotta do something' in the air at the moment. It's almost the census date for university, which means that I have to decide whether or not to pull out of my theatre class. I think the answer will be yes - there is no possible way that I can pass now.
I have been having major thoughts about university in general - I'm not sure it's the right place for me right now. This year has been an absolute mess. So many things that I assumed would fall into place just didn't - I'm always scraping to find photocopying money, I still don't have a laptop and I don't have any sort of social network. My house isn't the most ideal living environment. I'm still not used to the whole cooking for myself thing or organising food - for example, there have been entire weeks where I have only consumed fruit juice because I really don't know how to cook very well. I'm not settled enough to have regular music lessons or do any sort of organised exercise. Yet somehow I'm supposed to be pulling in the H1s when the rest of my life is in utter disarray.

I have a plan though - I've decided that next semester I should take a leave of absence. I can work, paint, cook, run around and generally spend a semester establishing some roots so I don't just blow away. I won't lose my scholarships. I haven't told my parents yet.

Benjamin is determined to see Snakes on a Plane. I will admit, I was incredibly skeptical but now that I understand it is kind of a joke that does take itself seriously.. it looks brilliant. I think we're going on Friday and trying to gather together as many people as possible for the outing. It seems like just the thing to warrant audience participation, popcorn throwing and lots of loud gasping and laughing.
Benjamin drove Lucien and I back to Melbourne last night after rehearsal. Trés fun! We bought popcorn chicken - I forgot how good it is, despite being absolutely oozing saturated fat and all kinds of chemical goodies. 'Tis strange, it's like everybody is moving either to Melbourne or at least moving. Nate just got a job as an IT engineer in the city, will be moving up shortly. I'd love to move in with him, but I really don't know whether it would be a fair pairing - an IT professional, and a struggling, scraping student. Someone who can afford so little for rent every week would just limit his opportunities, but we'll see. Lucien is probably moving up next year.

Ahh.. Hilde is in China for the rest of the year! Suki is working two or three jobs almost non-stop and can't see me, Maria just went to Greece and is planning to stay on in Europe at least till the end of the year, Louise moved to Brisbane and is planning to live in Thailand for at least some part of next year, Paul went to Philadelphia for the rest of the semester, Tasi just parties all night and sleeps all day, Lucien is a bit.. mmm, Audrey is too busy being a band-aid and young wild bohemian thing to have female friends that she isn't going to sleep with, Nate is in the new job honeymoon period, Benjamin is putting in the hard yards (it's the last six weeks of uni for him, EVER), Anne is busy running her own business, etc etc. It seems all of my friends are just so scattered at the moment - they're all floating around the world or their habits prevent them from being sociable. I miss them all.

It's my birthday in 14 days. I didn't do anything big last year, so I was planning on arranging something this year. Paintballing. Or laser challenge. Or a spring garden party. I don't know, but it doesn't seem worth it now. Practically everybody I'd want to invite is overseas or somehow unavailable. It's so depressing.. I think I'm going to have a me party. I'll buy some really nice bubble bath, pajamas and champagne bombs and a chick-flick. I'll curl my hair, wear pretty underwear with bows and lace and I'll paint my fingernails red. I'll make raspberry dacquiris. I'll have a one person slumber party and order Thai, to be delivered to my front door.
All by myself.
God, how depressing. Feels like Bridget Jones.

Maybe I'll get eaten by Alsatians too.