It's just so tragic that as soon as I met him, he's leaving. And not for a little while.. forever (ok, well maybe a little less than forever). It will be unbearable.. like offering a blind person sight for a day and then taking it back, so they can spend every other day of their life feeling like it would never measure up to that one day.
Though Paul is definitely one to push the concept of fate and serendipity, so maybe it's for the best - leading to greater things later!
This weekend wasn't the greatest time to come home. My family seem to be spontaneously combusting.. right now, Ellen has run away for the weekend with random young hoons ("Full of
sperm" - Larry Miller in 10 Things I Hate About You, see picture to the right), Vince is throwing a tantrum and refusing to go to Melbourne, Katie threw herself down the stairs and is giving an Academy Award winning performance on how 'injured' she is. Mom is at her wits end, understandably, but is taking it out on me. Feels like my life during high school all over again.I'm hiding downstairs from all the yelling and fighting, but I haven't been immune by any stretch of the imagination. I have been criticised in none-too-polite language for: being a waste of space, being a disappointment, making a mess (I left my socks on the floor), etc. The worst part was when my Mom said, "Why did you bother coming here this weekend? There is no reason for you to be here, and you're just making everything worse."
So I'm not the happiest little girl in the world right now.
I will however make an effort to talk about happy things. Last night I spied a special edition green bag at the supermarket. It's not actually green - bright yellow with Radioactive Man from The Simpsons on it. I love it! It promptly became my bag-de-jour, accompanying me home this weekend.
I also found out which department I'll be working in at Myer - the Christmas department! Trés exciting. And yes, dear reader, I will probably be required to dress up as an elf at some point. There will be photos.
Uh. That's the best I can come up with. This weekend is almost doomed to be bad. It's cold, I'm not feeling very well at all, my family is on an absolute rampage, Lucien is busy, my head is inhabited by a now permanent dull ache, and my piano sounds very out of tune. I previously had so many wonderful plans that now seem so out of reach.
I was going to paint a picture on a canvas I brought back with me. I was going to wash all of my favourite clothes and pack them in a vintage suitcase and take pictures of it. I was going to take my puppy for a long walk by the river and have a picnic with her. I was going to sunbake on my back lawn. I was going to catch a bus into the city, buy some fabric and start work on the Magical Mystery Box (can't really talk about it - it's for someone who I know for sure reads this journal). I was going to invite Lucien over for a a two-person slumber party. I was going to find a stapler and some tape and make a Spring Racing Carnival outfit from newspaper. I was going to call Suki up for some Trivial Pursuit and noodles. I was going to make daisy chains in the meadow behind my house. I was going to make a mix tape for Paul, complete with narration. I was going to take a long hot bubble bath. I was going to make heart-shaped cookies with red icing for Lucien and then deliver them to him.
Alas. I'm not going to do anything now.
But at least this list is here for future reference. Maybe I'll do them once the storm passes.
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