Things could be so much more simple than this. Right now I'm trying to get some photos and a resume from my laptop (no internet access) to my Dad's laptop (with dial-up, which is thrilling me more than I can say). Now: think up the most contrived and complicated way that I could possibly transfer these files, add a couple of steps and you might be close to what I am doing right now. It involves 3 1/2 inch floppy disks and trying to find non-existent USB ports.
The best part is that I am doing this so I can send snapshots of me (too poor currently for professional headshots) and my oh-so-slick resume (which doesn't actually have more than 10 credits) to poor student and independent filmmakers who can't afford to pay me even if I get the job, and will probably turn me away anyway. Such is life, but it sucks just a bit. I would prefer a great deal if I had an agent doing all this running around for me and actually having access to the 'real' casting calls. Sigh. In time, I suppose.
It is just very frustrating to sift through the limited number of non-agent casting notices for my state and see that practically all of them only want male actors, and the only female actors wanted are either middle aged or elderly.
Other than that, things are whirring away. Lucien is coming up to visit me tonight, which shall be grand. I haven't seen him for a whole week, which is a long time considering we were practically living in the same building for most of the holidays. There will be hugging and playing and much watching of films, but alas... no chocolate. I'm actually serious for once! I've been eating very very very healthily and trying to do at least 30 minutes of cardio and 30 minutes of ballet or pilates based body weight exercises every day. So far I lost about 1kg in 5 days.. which I suppose is good. But I still wish this process would happen faster.
The theme of the moment seems to be "work hard now, results later". In the way I look, my acting 'career', school, et cetera. I'm sure I'll feel great when I actually achieve something, but it all seems so far away right now.
Maybe something great and unexpected is just around the corner. Hopefully.
Showing posts with label fretting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fretting. Show all posts
Friday, March 9
Saturday, January 27
Anger!
The days of the last few weeks are blurring together in a weird sort of monotony - it's not necessarily a bad thing, it's just nothing is really happening. Sleeping and eating and showering form the biggest events of my days, horrifyingly enough, though I think this recharge time was needed.
Moving! In the next couple of weeks.. probably around the 20th of February. Into a beautiful apartment in Richmond, right next to the Yarra. It has two bedrooms, a study, two bathrooms, open plan living and a huge balcony. There is also a pool in the complex! It sounds much more exciting and exotic than the type of apartment that a student should have though.. and it is. Shall be an absolutely brilliant place to live; it's also very close to Bridge Road and Swan Street, so it should be a breeze getting some job in a boutique or gallery. There are signs up everywhere, and I have retail experience now!
Plus I need some sort of income now that Myer have unceremoniously decided not to keep on the 80% of Christmas staff, as they promised when I was employed. Sucks to trust what the management say, I guess.
Australia Day came and went without ceremony. Lucien played World of Warcraft all day, so I spent the day doing deliciously decadent 'me' things.. like covering my face in green clay that smelt good enough to eat, rubbing different types of moisturiser into different parts of my body, painting my nails, reading Vogue, doing sit-ups and stretches and.. (guiltily) eating this beautiful chocolate. Actually I ate it the night before, but the wrapper was still laying on the desk in the morning! It's called Intense Orange by Lindt, from the supermarket - dark chocolate with slivers of almonds, infused with orange. It was lovely, and I'm not even usually a big wrap for dark chocolate.
Lucien has annoyed me a lot lately.. and yes, I can write this with complete confidence that he won't read it because he wouldn't dare pry himself away from World of Warcraft. That is pretty much the reason for my annoyance. I will admit that I have dabbled in the game and do play occassionally - when he is at work. I think this is acceptable; it doesn't impinge on life this way, it's simply a way to pass the time. However, Lucien tends to be a bit obsessive. In the past he has stayed up all night trying to hand in that quest or get that monster, and every time his subscription ran out he'd vow to be smarter about it in the future. This time is different - he is bestowing a level of importance on this game that is unprecedented. He plays it when he gets home from work until he goes to sleep. On weekends, he plays when he wakes up, maybe goes to find some lunch with me and then plays again until he sleeps. I feel.. not neglected, but angry that a stupid game (that is all it really is) could completely usurp the position I hold in Lucien's list of priorities. He seems to think it's alright for him to play for hours at a time while I simply wait around for him, just so long as he gives me a hug or smiles at me once in a while. It's not nice, and whenever questioned about it, he is so .. well, deluded about how much time and energy he does actually put into it that we end up fighting. It's not a good state of affairs.. I'm wondering if I could sneak onto his account and act like a total prick and get him banned or something. Or.. maybe I'll just make him read this.
So in the spirit of protest, I up-and-left for the weekend to go back to my Mum's house. Protest directed partly towards Lucien, partly toward idiot housemate. Muhahmed, I think I mentioned him in a previous post.
He is the world biggest wastrel, turning on every single light switch in the house and leaving them on. While Victoria is in the middle of a dire drought, he left the taps running hard for 10 minutes while he shaved, while I was waiting for him to get out of the bathroom so I could have a shower. Then he had the nerve to get angry at me when I tried to have a shower, saying that he had wanted to have a shower first. I should have stood up for myself, but no, I was so angry that I could not speak - I simply went back to my room and screamed in a pillow.
He also stole my fan, which Lucien managed to get back through his powers of negotiation, and used ALL of my washing detergent. And when his scary, fat, rich relatives from Cyprus came over he showed them my room. MY room - the one full of boxes and suitcases full of clothes and everything in various stages of being packed. They laughed and muttered and exchanged glances. Grrr..
And he's constantly having loud conversations on the phone in the kitchen, not just loud but literally shouting into the phone. At any hour of the day or night that he chooses.
He has no respect for women at all, expects me to clean up after him and openly stares at me whenever I bend over. So many more horrible things...
Ok, I think I'm done now. He irks me - I used to have some sort of respect for him for trying to improve his English skills and endeavouring to get a job, but I've realised he really is just a vile human being, the type that makes a pig seem civillized.
I feel slightly better now!
Moving! In the next couple of weeks.. probably around the 20th of February. Into a beautiful apartment in Richmond, right next to the Yarra. It has two bedrooms, a study, two bathrooms, open plan living and a huge balcony. There is also a pool in the complex! It sounds much more exciting and exotic than the type of apartment that a student should have though.. and it is. Shall be an absolutely brilliant place to live; it's also very close to Bridge Road and Swan Street, so it should be a breeze getting some job in a boutique or gallery. There are signs up everywhere, and I have retail experience now!
Plus I need some sort of income now that Myer have unceremoniously decided not to keep on the 80% of Christmas staff, as they promised when I was employed. Sucks to trust what the management say, I guess.
Australia Day came and went without ceremony. Lucien played World of Warcraft all day, so I spent the day doing deliciously decadent 'me' things.. like covering my face in green clay that smelt good enough to eat, rubbing different types of moisturiser into different parts of my body, painting my nails, reading Vogue, doing sit-ups and stretches and.. (guiltily) eating this beautiful chocolate. Actually I ate it the night before, but the wrapper was still laying on the desk in the morning! It's called Intense Orange by Lindt, from the supermarket - dark chocolate with slivers of almonds, infused with orange. It was lovely, and I'm not even usually a big wrap for dark chocolate.
Lucien has annoyed me a lot lately.. and yes, I can write this with complete confidence that he won't read it because he wouldn't dare pry himself away from World of Warcraft. That is pretty much the reason for my annoyance. I will admit that I have dabbled in the game and do play occassionally - when he is at work. I think this is acceptable; it doesn't impinge on life this way, it's simply a way to pass the time. However, Lucien tends to be a bit obsessive. In the past he has stayed up all night trying to hand in that quest or get that monster, and every time his subscription ran out he'd vow to be smarter about it in the future. This time is different - he is bestowing a level of importance on this game that is unprecedented. He plays it when he gets home from work until he goes to sleep. On weekends, he plays when he wakes up, maybe goes to find some lunch with me and then plays again until he sleeps. I feel.. not neglected, but angry that a stupid game (that is all it really is) could completely usurp the position I hold in Lucien's list of priorities. He seems to think it's alright for him to play for hours at a time while I simply wait around for him, just so long as he gives me a hug or smiles at me once in a while. It's not nice, and whenever questioned about it, he is so .. well, deluded about how much time and energy he does actually put into it that we end up fighting. It's not a good state of affairs.. I'm wondering if I could sneak onto his account and act like a total prick and get him banned or something. Or.. maybe I'll just make him read this.
So in the spirit of protest, I up-and-left for the weekend to go back to my Mum's house. Protest directed partly towards Lucien, partly toward idiot housemate. Muhahmed, I think I mentioned him in a previous post.
He is the world biggest wastrel, turning on every single light switch in the house and leaving them on. While Victoria is in the middle of a dire drought, he left the taps running hard for 10 minutes while he shaved, while I was waiting for him to get out of the bathroom so I could have a shower. Then he had the nerve to get angry at me when I tried to have a shower, saying that he had wanted to have a shower first. I should have stood up for myself, but no, I was so angry that I could not speak - I simply went back to my room and screamed in a pillow.
He also stole my fan, which Lucien managed to get back through his powers of negotiation, and used ALL of my washing detergent. And when his scary, fat, rich relatives from Cyprus came over he showed them my room. MY room - the one full of boxes and suitcases full of clothes and everything in various stages of being packed. They laughed and muttered and exchanged glances. Grrr..
And he's constantly having loud conversations on the phone in the kitchen, not just loud but literally shouting into the phone. At any hour of the day or night that he chooses.
He has no respect for women at all, expects me to clean up after him and openly stares at me whenever I bend over. So many more horrible things...
Ok, I think I'm done now. He irks me - I used to have some sort of respect for him for trying to improve his English skills and endeavouring to get a job, but I've realised he really is just a vile human being, the type that makes a pig seem civillized.
I feel slightly better now!
Monday, December 11
Drinks?
It signals a new era:
There comes a time in a girl's life where she is not a lowly student struggling to pay the rent and study, but a young woman flitting about town like the social butterfly that has been hiding inside a cocoon for so long.
Instead of sitting at home watching Scrubs in pajamas and eating noodles out of the box, here comes a new Rose, going out for 'drinks' on both Wednesday and Friday nights this week with her work mates from Myer.
Now comes the stressful part - what to wear? How much to drink? What sorts of conversational topics are alright? So many ways in which I could potentially screw things up.
The plan so far is to drink one cocktail very slowly (so I don't get silly, but enough to make me relax), talk on general topics so I can get to know people, and wear what I wore to work but perhaps with a pretty necklace, some different makeup and nicer shoes. Now all I have to do is stress less.
I've been thinking a lot about myself in a social context lately. I barely have a friend in Melbourne, other than some who I am sorry to say that I neglect. If I were to have a party, I would have nobody to invite. It's sad, but it's true and I want to work on fixing that. I think I need to open up to people and stop being so shy and elusive. People get tired of having to chase me and give up; so I'll make myself a little easier to catch. I'll also be braver.. talk to strangers in the cafeteria at work, on the train, and at drinks on Wednesday and Friday. I'll also have to try harder; not forget birthdays, or to return calls - to initiate social activity rather than to wait for it to fall on my doorstep.
There comes a time in a girl's life where she is not a lowly student struggling to pay the rent and study, but a young woman flitting about town like the social butterfly that has been hiding inside a cocoon for so long.
Instead of sitting at home watching Scrubs in pajamas and eating noodles out of the box, here comes a new Rose, going out for 'drinks' on both Wednesday and Friday nights this week with her work mates from Myer.
Now comes the stressful part - what to wear? How much to drink? What sorts of conversational topics are alright? So many ways in which I could potentially screw things up.
The plan so far is to drink one cocktail very slowly (so I don't get silly, but enough to make me relax), talk on general topics so I can get to know people, and wear what I wore to work but perhaps with a pretty necklace, some different makeup and nicer shoes. Now all I have to do is stress less.
I've been thinking a lot about myself in a social context lately. I barely have a friend in Melbourne, other than some who I am sorry to say that I neglect. If I were to have a party, I would have nobody to invite. It's sad, but it's true and I want to work on fixing that. I think I need to open up to people and stop being so shy and elusive. People get tired of having to chase me and give up; so I'll make myself a little easier to catch. I'll also be braver.. talk to strangers in the cafeteria at work, on the train, and at drinks on Wednesday and Friday. I'll also have to try harder; not forget birthdays, or to return calls - to initiate social activity rather than to wait for it to fall on my doorstep.
Tuesday, October 24
Here We Go Again
After such an abysmal time doing Anything Goes, I'm gearing up for another round of self-destruction. I'm auditioning for Beauty and the Beast.
The hope behind this decision is that it will wash away the bad taste brought about by my last show; I'll be doing something I believe in, I'll be appreciated, I'll be surrounded by hard-working and professional people for once and hopefully I'll be in a role that I can really flex my performing muscles. I'm gunning for Belle, but hundreds of girls will be, no doubt. None of the other female roles really suit me.. the Silly Girls call for busty and flamboyant girls. I am certainly busty and sometimes flamboyant, but Lucien noted that it's in a way that somehow doesn't compare to certain other individuals in town - they look like sex objects you'd see in a magazine, I apparently just look 'nice' and elegant. The role of Babette would be fun, except my dancing would probably not be up to scratch after being out of it for so long. Too young to play Madame des Grande Bouche or Mrs. Potts... I suppose I could play the Enchantress, but she's usually just a member of the ensemble and doesn't speak, doesn't sing, doesn't dance. Head a-splode!
So, the plan is to tailor my audition song and monologue towards Belle. Of the characters in the show, she suits me to a tee, but she also will be the most difficult to get. But we'll see.
Tomorrow is the last day of school. I'm freaking out - I have an assignment due in eight days and I haven't seen the film that I have to write on yet. Very worrying. A couple of days later, I have another essay due.. then I have to do a philosophy exam. Eek.
I had my first day with Myer today... actually, it was still training, but it was so strange and nice! I rocked up in a suit, shock horror, despite the fact that everybody else was dressed quite casually. One girl even turned up with jeans and converse on, for her first day at a job where the preferred dress is very clearly stated. She didn't even try, but she ended up being quite annoying and argumentative so I disregarded any sympathy I had previously felt for her. We sat in the 'Learning Institute' from 9am to 5:30pm, but it felt so much longer. I suddenly remembered everything that high school felt like.. the minutes that felt like hours and the times when you seriously wondered whether or not the clock was going backwards. A couple of times I actually caught myself blinking so heavily that I would almost fall asleep.
It wasn't all doom and gloom though - after the actual training day, I went to visit my department and introduce myself to my manager. She wasn't there, but I met a nice boy who is working in the same place as me and only started yesterday. Everybody in there seemed to have a less strict, more jolly idea of uniform. Instead of everybody wearing suits, the girls I saw were wearing variations on this theme - black pinafore dresses with white tops, curls in their hair and glitter on their faces. I later discovered from the nice boy that everybody gets covered in the glitter just from being on that particular floor. It was great fun and it felt so magical just being there. It will be so lovely, being surrounded by magic and Santa and trees and snow and glitter and fun and joy for a couple of months.
Ah! Excitement!
I am still bemoaning the loss of Olympia Manet. Where is she? I hope all is well, but I am suspecting the worst. My mind is flying to the worst case scenarios - maybe a crime of passion was committed after a client read Postmodern Courtesan. Maybe she is sick. Maybe, maybe, maybe. I am hoping that it is something fairly .. well, innocuous - like she had a change of career, or she fell in love and decided to shed her former life, or she just had a close call with someone discovering her identity and decided to discontinue her intrigues. I just hope she's ok, and if she reads this for some odd reason, good luck Olympia.
I almost got 'done' by tram inspectors today. I bought a daily concession card to travel into the city for work and out again when I was done. On my way back home, I was asked to show my ticket - which I did. They asked to see my concession card, and I thought, "Sure thing". Reached into my coin purse.. where is it? I hunted around in my bag, getting frantic, couldn't find it. I had it this morning and it doesn't seem to have fallen into my bag and tucked itself into a book or anything. I have absolutely no idea what I have done with it. Luckily for me, the ticket inspector was a young woman who saw how flustered I was getting and said, "Look, don't worry about it. I could fine you, but they're already busy at the other end [of the tram] so they're not going to notice. I'm just going to walk away." I whispered thank you, and couldn't believe my luck.. first at being so unlucky to lose my concession card, then to be so lucky to have such an understanding ticket inspector.
Now.. the tricky part comes in trying to get a new concession card. This would be easy if it were one of the tertiary travel ones, but no - my particular concession card was also my health care card, and I certainly can't pay full price for all my prescriptions. So, I'm in dire straights. Must find replacement!
The hope behind this decision is that it will wash away the bad taste brought about by my last show; I'll be doing something I believe in, I'll be appreciated, I'll be surrounded by hard-working and professional people for once and hopefully I'll be in a role that I can really flex my performing muscles. I'm gunning for Belle, but hundreds of girls will be, no doubt. None of the other female roles really suit me.. the Silly Girls call for busty and flamboyant girls. I am certainly busty and sometimes flamboyant, but Lucien noted that it's in a way that somehow doesn't compare to certain other individuals in town - they look like sex objects you'd see in a magazine, I apparently just look 'nice' and elegant. The role of Babette would be fun, except my dancing would probably not be up to scratch after being out of it for so long. Too young to play Madame des Grande Bouche or Mrs. Potts... I suppose I could play the Enchantress, but she's usually just a member of the ensemble and doesn't speak, doesn't sing, doesn't dance. Head a-splode!
So, the plan is to tailor my audition song and monologue towards Belle. Of the characters in the show, she suits me to a tee, but she also will be the most difficult to get. But we'll see.
Tomorrow is the last day of school. I'm freaking out - I have an assignment due in eight days and I haven't seen the film that I have to write on yet. Very worrying. A couple of days later, I have another essay due.. then I have to do a philosophy exam. Eek.
I had my first day with Myer today... actually, it was still training, but it was so strange and nice! I rocked up in a suit, shock horror, despite the fact that everybody else was dressed quite casually. One girl even turned up with jeans and converse on, for her first day at a job where the preferred dress is very clearly stated. She didn't even try, but she ended up being quite annoying and argumentative so I disregarded any sympathy I had previously felt for her. We sat in the 'Learning Institute' from 9am to 5:30pm, but it felt so much longer. I suddenly remembered everything that high school felt like.. the minutes that felt like hours and the times when you seriously wondered whether or not the clock was going backwards. A couple of times I actually caught myself blinking so heavily that I would almost fall asleep.
It wasn't all doom and gloom though - after the actual training day, I went to visit my department and introduce myself to my manager. She wasn't there, but I met a nice boy who is working in the same place as me and only started yesterday. Everybody in there seemed to have a less strict, more jolly idea of uniform. Instead of everybody wearing suits, the girls I saw were wearing variations on this theme - black pinafore dresses with white tops, curls in their hair and glitter on their faces. I later discovered from the nice boy that everybody gets covered in the glitter just from being on that particular floor. It was great fun and it felt so magical just being there. It will be so lovely, being surrounded by magic and Santa and trees and snow and glitter and fun and joy for a couple of months.
Ah! Excitement!
I am still bemoaning the loss of Olympia Manet. Where is she? I hope all is well, but I am suspecting the worst. My mind is flying to the worst case scenarios - maybe a crime of passion was committed after a client read Postmodern Courtesan. Maybe she is sick. Maybe, maybe, maybe. I am hoping that it is something fairly .. well, innocuous - like she had a change of career, or she fell in love and decided to shed her former life, or she just had a close call with someone discovering her identity and decided to discontinue her intrigues. I just hope she's ok, and if she reads this for some odd reason, good luck Olympia.
I almost got 'done' by tram inspectors today. I bought a daily concession card to travel into the city for work and out again when I was done. On my way back home, I was asked to show my ticket - which I did. They asked to see my concession card, and I thought, "Sure thing". Reached into my coin purse.. where is it? I hunted around in my bag, getting frantic, couldn't find it. I had it this morning and it doesn't seem to have fallen into my bag and tucked itself into a book or anything. I have absolutely no idea what I have done with it. Luckily for me, the ticket inspector was a young woman who saw how flustered I was getting and said, "Look, don't worry about it. I could fine you, but they're already busy at the other end [of the tram] so they're not going to notice. I'm just going to walk away." I whispered thank you, and couldn't believe my luck.. first at being so unlucky to lose my concession card, then to be so lucky to have such an understanding ticket inspector.
Now.. the tricky part comes in trying to get a new concession card. This would be easy if it were one of the tertiary travel ones, but no - my particular concession card was also my health care card, and I certainly can't pay full price for all my prescriptions. So, I'm in dire straights. Must find replacement!
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